I'm peaking, bro.

Deathly afraid of heights? Try this one on for size! I like pushing myself, but I know my limits. Pretty sure this is beyond my limit, in fact my palms are sweating profusely at this very moment. I thought for this particular hike it'd be good if I did a before and after post because I'm definitely not one of those people who call every fucking hike easy, and smile for a fucking gram photo as they're contouring a crumbling rock face 300 feet up from death. Why bother if I'm really this terrified? For the shiny rocks, bruh. According to H.T. Stearns, in his book "Geological Map and Guide of Oahu Hawaii," quartz is prevelant at Olomana Peak. It's got some YDS Class 3 & 4 scrambles going up a 1,643ft elevation.  Fuck me.
Just a forewarning, this post will definitely be all over the place so bear with me.
Thursday, June 20, 2019 12:02

Unrelated, I am now the proud owner of a pristine copy of the Geological Map and Guide of O'ahu by H.T. Stearns.
You can download a PDF of the book and map here.







Storytime!  The mo'olelo of how Olomana came to be:
Many moons ago, the great warrior Palila left his home of Kaua'i seeking adventure.  After defeating Kamaikaahui, the shark man who terrorized the country side.  He wins 'Ahuapau's (chief of O'ahu) daughters, Kealamikioi(According to Fornander and Bishop, however, the name is Kaalamikioi.) and Kalehuawai.  'Ahu, fearing his son-in-law sends him off on a circuit of the island without forewarning him of the formidable warrior Olomana, who presided over the lands from Makapu'u to Kaoio.  Palila runs the giant in half casting off a portion towards the sea, known as Mahinui, the other half is what is now Olomana Peak. (Beckwith)
The name literally translates to divided hill or forked hill, depending on what dictionary you reference or who you ask.  Seeing as how this dude got chopped in half, "divided hill" seems to be an appropriate fit.



I love this beer, but it's making me fat.  I drink at least 2 cases a day on the weekend.
Not sure why we keep doing this to ourselves, but my friend and I never fail to drink(2 of those^ and a bottle of Bulleit) heavily the night before we plan on doing a hike and go to bed at 2am or later. On top of that we are always ill prepared, as far as bringing things that provide humans with sustenance go.... We only brought a 32 oz. Hydroflask along to share because I read, I mean glanced over a review on AllTrails, that a handful of people had completed the 1st peak in 90-100 minutes(Yeah, o-fucking-kay, if you're a hardcore broseidon, god of the brocean & gym, that signs up for shit like Spartan races)......we had another gallon that we left in the car cause I'm an idiot. I was like, we won't need it. Fucking wrong.

There were definitely some sketchy areas that made me question my life decisions while I was up there, and I almost didn't make it to the peak.  NOT TO MENTION THE AWESOME DOWNPOUR. However, this was actually not as bad for me as Pali Puka...I legit teared up on that one. As I climbed up the very last set of ropes before the summit of Olomana Peak I froze in fear, and panicked.
"I can't, I can't, I can't, I can't."
He shouted out to me from down below, but it was unintelligible. My ears were deafened by my heartbeat following my heavy short breaths. My hands and feet turned into faucets.
"I'm coming down!" I shouted back. About half way through I took a deep breath, told him I was leaving the backpack and made my way up again. Repeating in my head, "you got this, you've made it this far."  Turned right the fuck around and made it up to the top.  I was definitely sitting there for a good 10 minutes beforehand though, so don't be impressed.  You can tell I'm scared because I took my shoes off, just check out the photo below! You'll also notice the lack of photos taken anywhere high up and sketchy.
Thursday, July, 04, 2019 'MURICA DAY

Now for the big question: Is it worth it?
For the rocks, yes.  There were some dope deposits of Jasper, and possibly a bit of Chalcedony, the higher up we went as well as bits of common opal  littered here and there.  For the experience even?  Sure.  The view is bewitching.  However, if you're a chicken shit like me, but don't give a fuck about minerals then there's a lot of other hikes that offer gorgeous views without the climbing and risk of falling.
I'm not yet confident enough in my abilities as a climber, nor am I confident, period....but I think one day I'll have to come back to tackle peaks 2 & 3.
The next day my whole body ached, but again, I'm not in shape.  My body runs off of sheer will power and excitement, not strength.



Listed in order as they appear.
  • In between the summer showers.
  • Crepidotus
  • Another Crep
  • Phellinus
  • Water permeated ultisols, herp derp.  THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE GETTING YOURSELVES INTO.
  • Brecciated Jasper.
  • A troll.
  • The same troll climbing Olomana's dead body.
  • Sick ass view of the Pāku'i & Ahiki peaks.
  • Visual representation of death by exhaustion.
  • Headshots of Jasper.
  • My fucked legs.


Tips for when you head out there:

  • Before you leave your house spray yourself with bug spray head to toe, naked. I cannot stress enough, NAKED. We were eaten alive by the mosquitoes. They found every single inch that we missed. I reapplied at least 7 times throughout the hike, they still fucked me up. I posted a couple pictures of just my legs, but I had bites EVERYWHERE, including my ass. The Farmer's Almanac has some helpful mosquito repellent suggestions as well as after care for bites.
  • Bring sunscreen.
  • It's muddy, so dress accordingly.
  • Don't litter, duh.


Extra reading and sources:
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